This is going to sound really weird, coming from someone who's fat. But do you know what I love?
Fat jokes.
Seriously. I love them. Not because I find them funny (the same way I don't find racist, homophobic, sexist, or other cruel jokes funny). Because they're not funny. Not at all.
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| I get it, because she's a whale. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNIEST GODDAMN JOKE EVER. Or, she's beautiful and IMMA CUT YOU. |
They fuel my rage. They motivate me. They make me want to punch people in their stupid faces.
So keep telling them, jerks. I LOVE that shit. With every joke you tell, my determination grows.
I think of every fat joke, every cruel name I've been called, every asshole who has shouted hateful things at me from their car, or their porch (I'm talking to you, North Fair Street crackhouse) when I'm working out.
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| WHY IS THIS FAT BITCH WEARING LEGGINGS? HOW DARE SHE WEAR SKINNY PEOPLE CLOTHES? Releasing mob of angry villagers with pitchforks in 3...2...1... |
As I do my bicep curls, I imagine the weight rack landing on your head with each rep. When I row, I picture my elbows landing right in your stupid faces. I find I have to be careful when I use the treadmills in my building...I subconsciously find myself whispering with each step "fuck YOU, fuck YOU, fuck YOU."
In all seriousness, if you find these jokes funny, you are an asshole and I have no use for you. If you find these jokes funny, you clearly have no respect for me anyways. And yes, I am just as "sensitive" about sexist jokes (because I have a vagina and a SOUL), racist jokes (because not everyone is white and I have a soul), homophobic jokes (again, I have a soul) and other ignorant jokes (because I'm smart and have a soul).
But keep telling them. The rage pushes me to be better.
I know. I saw a picture someone posted in fb of a larger woman and a thinner Mexican man. It said "Mexicans will do anything for papers". I threw up. Not kidding I actually ran to the bathroom and puked. Then I got angry. We all have magic iphones, can't we have manners or brains and hearts as well?
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