Fat Shaming

 

 

There is an ugly, ugly phenomenon called "fat shaming."
Have you ever seen the dog and cat shaming websites?

Somehow, it's funnier when it's a dog.



It's kind of like that, except mean and hateful and involving humans.  It can be blatant or sneaky.  It comes from complete strangers, friends, doctors and close family members.  Speaking from personal experience, it cuts you to your very core and few things are more humiliating.

Here are a few examples of fat shaming that I've experienced.  They may not seem vile, but when they're directed at you, you're made to feel as though your weight is the only thing about you that matters.

1) The "very concerned" talk about health.  This is presented as "love" and "well-meaning."  What it is, is thinly veiled judgement.  As fat people, I guarantee we all know we're fat.  You absolutely, positively, 100% do not need to remind us.  And guess what else!  We, and we alone, are the only ones (as individuals) know what our health issues are.  But wait, there's more!  Some of us, in spite of being fat, have no major health issues whatsoever.  It is possible to be fat and healthy.  For you to look at us and assume we're unhealthy is straight up stereotyping and bigotry.  Now, with that said, I do have sleep hypopnea and borderline hypertension.  These are issues I'm working on through exercise and dietary changes.  But my cholesterol and blood sugar are fantastic. Not all fatties are type two diabetics.


2) Worrying about our relationships.  If a fat person is alone, much like a thin person alone, they are probably CHOOSING that life for themselves.  Fat does not equal lonely.  Fat people get married, too (I am living proof of this). Sometimes, fat people even have sex.  HOLY SHIT!  Quit worrying that we'll be alone forever.  Some of us, in spite of being fat (which apparently equals disabled and/or socially retarded?) manage to find another fat person or a skinny person who isn't afraid of being snapped in half like a twig in bed and settle down with them.  Most of us are just as easy to love as you.

3) Appearance, hygiene, and laziness.  Fat people are not lazy as a general population.  Yes, some of us are, but no more so than thin people. 
Some of us have eating disorders, addictions, slow metabolisms, were taught shitty eating and exercise habits growing up (it takes a long time to fix years of bad examples), have hormonal issues, etc. 
I'm not trying to make excuses, because some of us are indeed quite lazy.  Just like any subset of the population, a cross section of fatties is pretty diverse. 
But this is my number one pet peeve related to fat shaming: Assuming we are all lazy and unkempt and smelly. 
Look at a fatty: assume they're fat because they're lazy.  Then, assume that they're also smelly because they're lazy.  Then, assume they're wearing sweatpants because they're lazy.  It's so easy! 
Maybe they're fat because they feel attractive at their present weight.  Maybe they have struggled with their weight for years and are secretly miserable.  You, looking at them, have no idea.  If they do smell, maybe it's because they just worked out (chances are, however, they smell pretty good). Maybe they're wearing sweatpants because stylish plus sized clothing is ridiculously expensive and hard to find in a lot of areas.

Fat people do have some potential hygiene issues that thin people don't have. For example, very large breasted women and those with skin folds are prone to yeast infections.  GUESS WHAT.  Most of us know these things are possible and take great care to avoid them.  A lot of us have a trusted, brutally honest individual we will go to if there are any questions that we smell or look sloppy (just like you have a friend or spouse that you trust to tell you these things).  I have three: my husband, my sister, and my BFF.  They tell me when my clothes look unfortunate and have been asked to let me know if I stink. The reports on my aroma and appearance are unanimously positive.  Even though I'm fat, I somehow manage to look attractive sometimes.  Shocking, I know.

And according to them, I smell fucking great. Like rainbows, unicorn tears, sunshine, and nag champa.

Also, I'm fat.  Also, I walk my dog every day.  Also, I'm training to run a 5K.  Also, I work 40 hours or more each week.  Also, I will soon be a full time student in addition to all this other stuff.  Lazy?  Fuck you.

In closing, I would like to say this.  The next time you fat shame someone, know this: YOU ARE NOT SNEAKY. WE ARE ON TO YOU. WE ARE SILENTLY HATING YOU AND CURSING YOUR VERY NAME. ALL YOU ARE SUCCEEDING IN DOING IS SECURING YOUR SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL AND ALIENATING US.

If those are your goals, well done.  If not, quit it.