Remember the time a bra made me cry?

I DO!  IT WAS TODAY!

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new Enell bra.  I started running with the hubs recently, but until I found a decent sports bra, it's been hard to do much of it.  I've been wearing three bras and still having to hold my boobs cleverly with my arms when I run so as not to put an eye out or straight up get sore jugs.  It's awful and awkward and probably unattractive.

Well after polling my friends, doing copious amounts of research, and trying on the "sports bras" offered at Lane Bryant (the ONLY store within 50 miles of my that carries halfway decent plus sized underthings), I ordered the Enell 100, the sports bra to end all sports bras.  Online reviews said it would strap you in like nothing else, eliminate all bounce, and that their sizing system is "idiot proof and flawless."

I measured myself and ordered one.

And waited.

It came today.  I was so excited when I got the USPS email notification that it had arrived!  I couldn't wait to rush home from work and try it on.

I snatched it from the mailbox, stripped down in the living room and tried it on.

It's horrible.

The band is tight, as advertised.  The website states that it may feel too small at first, but this is part of the design/support.  Ok, I thought, As I continued hooking it up.  I adjusted myself.  I looked down.  Hmmm...this looks weird.  I went into the bathroom and checked myself out in the mirror.

While the band is so tight I can barely breathe, the cups are HUGE.  Like, so huge I could smuggle oranges or possibly my twelve pound dog.  The straps are too long (and not adjustable) and it provides no support whatsoever, because the cups, which I measured to fit myself, are ginormous.

I stared at myself and cried.  Over a fucking bra.

To most of you, this probably seems ridiculous.  Maybe I need a nap.  Maybe I have PMS.

Maybe let me explain.

When you spend your entire life not fitting into things you want to, and not looking pretty in things you want to, and you find a garment specifically designed for women with your body type, a garment to make your new fitness routine that you are so excited about a little less awkward and painful, and it doesn't fit you even a little bit, it pretty much makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Fuck bras.  Fuck boobs.  I'm really pissed.

Flat Foot Floogie

Dr. Livingstone and Dr.Schwalenberg.  They are excellent.  And super weird.  And hilarious.  They're our chiropractors.

I started seeing Heather Livingstone this summer when I was having excruciating headaches, and while I'm still having some neck stiffness/pain from time to time, I can say with 100% confidence that she has helped me more than my neurologist, more than the ER doctors, more than Imitrex or Maxalt or Ibuprofen or Excedrin or Vicodin.  She is awesome.

Dr.Lee is Jeff's chiro.  I've seen him a few times when his lovely wife was out of town or unavailable.  He is super weird and inappropriate and so funny...just what I like in my practitioners (as long as they still know what they're doing, which he does).  First of all, he's a super feminist (not even sure if he knows it).  We had a long conversation about the double standard between overweight men and overweight women at one of my visits.  Another time, we had a conversation about how men just shave and slap on deodorant and are ready for the day, and women are pressured by society to slap ten tons of creams and paints and sprays and whatevers onto their faces and bodies to look perfectly shellacked at all times.

Like I said, they're the shit.  If you're in the valley and need a chiro, it's worth the drive to K-town.

Now, the point of the story.

Dr.Lee mentioned to Jeff that he does barefoot running.  I was super skeptical.  And by that I mean, I thought he was crazyballs.

Have fun stepping on glass and dog turds!

Jeff started doing it a few weeks ago.  He's wanted to start running for awhile, but whenever he tried to start a running routine, his feet and knees would cause problems, swell, and get painful within a few days of starting.  After a few weeks of barefoot running, no problems.  He ordered "barefoot shoes" so he can do it in the winter and so his nasty feet won't track ten tons of dirt into the house.  After about a week of running, he was already up to 1K plus walking...not a marathon by far, but when you start from zero, that's pretty impressive.

He talked me into going with him.  I HATE being barefoot because my feet feel icky and God knows what's on the sidewalks.  However, when I'd run in the past, the arches of my feet would ache and burn after about 100 yards of running.  This happened in Sauconys, New Balances, Adidas, and Reeboks.  Nikes fit my feet weird and I hate them, so I didn't even try them for running.  

I've only been out a few times, but so far, no foot pain.  In fact, the only thing bothering me on our walk/runs are my boobs, because my sports bras are nearing the end of their lives.

Curse you, breasts!